After at least selfless act, the next thing that I start working on is finding my center. I've found that I really need to take the time to do a full self-evaluation, the good and the bad, where I've been, where I am, where I want to go and who I want to be.
Sometimes you need another person to help you be fair instead of getting stuck in the negative. I tend to think of everything I am unhappy about first and then the things that I like, as I think about the things I like I find myself scratching out things on my negative list because I realize that they aren't really so bad or that the positive things outweigh the negative or at least cancel them out. One of the things I've had to at least move on my negative list is that my DH doesn't do the things he says he will and then uses a really lame excuse for it. I didn't even have to get to my positive list because when I was thinking about things that I don't like about myself I realized that I do the same thing to him and if he can be patient with me and not blow up about it, I can certainly do the same for him.
I'm learning that finding my center with kids around is really difficult, pretty much impossible, so I have to find ways of getting time to myself to work on it. I'm surprised at how much thinking I'm able to do while I'm cleaning the house or nursing my DD. I have to admit that I've definitely resorted to putting on a movie and sequestering my kids to their room to get a little bit of quiet time.
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