tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78060520386617875852024-03-13T02:49:11.317-04:00The Gift of DepressionAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-18432942179653296502010-05-17T10:54:00.001-04:002013-02-09T14:08:21.367-05:00Choosing ProsperityProsperity is defined as: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">Successful, flourishing, thriving.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #073763;"> </span></span> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">sn't that what we all want for our lives? To prosper? Struggling with depression poses a particular hurdle on the road to prosperity since it's rather difficult to succeed, flourish or thrive when it's takes everything you have just to get out of bed in the morning. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The thing is, you can choose prosperity whenever you want, start small, just think of the best thing you can do with that moment, just the next five minutes, and do it. Don't worry, I'll wait, go.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Are you done? Didn't that feel good? Now just do it again, the best thing YOU can do with the next ten minutes of your life this time. Now just keep going form there.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You can't control anyone or anything outside of yourself, not really, so stop trying and just do the best you can with each and every moment, challenge, opportunity that comes your way. Every time you do you can do a little more and a little better than the last time until choosing prosperity becomes easy and automatic and depression becomes a part of your past instead of your daily life. I still work on this everyday, I'm far from perfect, very far, but I'm taking it one step at a time and I know you can do it too, if you just trust me and trust yourself enough to take that first step and then another and when you stumble, to forgive yourself and take another step. If I can do it, you can too.</span></span><br />
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Have you ever had a mess that you knew you needed to clean but it just seemed SO BIG that you didn't even know where to start? I was cleaning my house and thinking about how I tackle that and how it compares to how I tackle my depression. I've always been one of those people who is either super organized or a complete mess. I tend to clean in spurts, my house will stay pretty clean for a while and then I'll get lax and it turns into a HUGE mess practically overnight and it stays that way until I've finally had enough and decide to tackle it head on. <br />
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So when I tackle cleaning I always take a few minutes to plan out how I'm going to do it first, like when I cleaned the other day I first got some baskets and went around each room picking everything up and putting it in a basket, the bigger my mess the more baskets I need, once I had everything picked up I could put it all away in one or two trips and then I took care of all the trash, I always have to pick up trash twice if I start with the trash, then I'm ready to wipe, dust and vacuum and I'm done. In the kitchen it's the same thing only I add dishes in between picking up and wipe, dust, sweep, mop.<br />
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So what I'm getting at is that my steps for tackling depression are really the same thing, I start off with thinking about where I am and where I want to be and then I take the steps one at a time to get me there. Depression is by definition overwhelming, or you wouldn't be depressed but I know I can find my way through it if I take it one step at a time, even if it's only 5 minutes at a time.<br />
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If you'd like a website that helps t get you moving one step at a time with cleaning, exercising, cooking, etc. check out <a href="http://flylady.net/">Flylady.net</a> she has lots of great tips and tools for cleaning and links to other great stuff to help put you and your home back in order. Look on the left for the link to her baby steps.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-31658778049334622052010-03-15T12:30:00.000-04:002013-02-09T14:10:32.476-05:0015 Minute Holidays (Self-Care)Here are just a few things you can do for self care in 15 min. or less.<br />
<a name='more'></a> I'll add to this list from time to time. Hopefully this will also get you thinking about things you can do in a short time frame. What do you like to do when you only have a few minutes?<br />
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Mini Manicure/Pedicure:<br />
*get a file, cuticle pusher,(scented)cuticle oil, buffer, clear polish.<br />
*file any snags or uneven nails, apply oil, gently push back your cuticles (you shouldn't ever have to trim them if you keep pushing them back), buff nails and apply polish. This should only take about 5 min. then allow yourself a few min. to relax while the polish dries. Your hands/feet look and feel better and you do to.<br />
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Accupressure or Massage:<br />
*get a card for accupressure points for your hands, feet and/or<br />
ears. (opt.)<br />
*pick what you want to concentrate on and rub that spot with a scented oil or lotion that you love and massage for 1-2 min. and then just massage the whole area for a total time of about 5-10 min. If you set a timer so that you don't have to keep track of the time, you'd be surprised how long that 5 min. can seem and how rejuvenating such a small thing can be.<br />
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Aromatherapy Meditation:<br />
*pick a picture or word or phrase to meditate on. (I prefer a picture because then I can imagine myself there.)<br />
*pick a scent that is either relaxing or energizing for you that you associate with what you've picked to meditate on.<br />
*find a quiet spot, even if you have to sit in your car or bathroom, and rub the scent on your temples, wrists and breast bone.<br />
*meditate on your chosen pic, word or phrase. If you have chosen a pic. imagine yourself inside that picture, enjoying the scenery, going for a walk or just staying put in this beautiful place. If you chose a word or phrase imagine that word or phrase becoming a part of you and filling you with the strength or energy inherent within it.<br />
This should take you 5 to 15 min. If you want to be sure that you stop within a certain time then set a timer that isn't too intrusive but will remind you when to come back to your surroundings. (I use my cell phone and just put it on silent so that all I hear is some buzzing from my purse.)<br />
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Coloring:<br />
I know it may sound juvenile but I find coloring to be very relaxing, I don't have to think about what to make and it doesn't matter what it looks like when I'm done.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-12612190891572309112010-03-14T18:48:00.003-04:002013-02-09T14:11:23.963-05:00Get Moving!One of the things you've GOT to do when you are depressed is to GET MOVING, it doesn't matter too much what you do as long as it's something that you can look back on and think "I'm SO glad I did that". I like to do things in 15 minute increments, it makes everything seem so much more do able, as flylady.net says "You can do anything for 15 minutes."<br />
<a name='more'></a> You can set a timer for 15 minutes and clean a part of your house that has been driving you nuts but you just haven't felt up to the challenge, you can pamper yourself, exercise, make something creative or do something nice for someone you love. <br />
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There are a couple rules:<br />
1- It can't be anything "big", it can't take up a lot of time, money, energy or thought. Any of those things might mean that you take two steps back from doing too much.<br />
2- Whatever you do it can't be for any other reason than that it would feel nice to know that you had done something good, no expecting what you do to get thanks or love from someone else.<br />
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Take it one step at a time, let each step build on the other, when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, and you will, we all do, just remind yourself that "You can do anything for 15 minutes" and GET MOVING.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-66231155888698202362010-03-12T08:50:00.002-05:002010-03-12T09:26:17.164-05:00Feeling a Little Better Every DayI'm finally past the worst of my current episode of depression, it doesn't mean that I still don't have bad days but at least they are fewer and farther apart and they don't last as long. Hope, it's what I hold on to and it's what keeps me going, knowing that I've done this many times before and that not only will I get through this but that I will come out the other end with a renewed sense of self and a stronger, better person all around. That is the gift that I've found with my depression, the diamond in the pit of coal, it may be hard and it may be painful but at least I can use it as a tool to help me be the person I want to be.<br /><br />I feel a little like the apostle Paul when he talked about his infirmity that God wouldn't heal (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10) I have found that through this "infirmity" comes several blessings, it pushes me to allow others to help me, it forces me to slow down and re-prioritize, it helps me to be more patient and understanding of others as well as helping me become a better stronger individual, and best of all, at least I hope, it helps me to help others because of my empathy and understanding.<br /><br />I'm not where I want to be yet and I still have a long road ahead of me but at least I can see the light at the end of the tunnel again.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-73825382381376717072010-03-11T09:57:00.003-05:002010-03-12T08:50:48.924-05:00.......Recently as I was talking to a friend I realized that I was much more upset about some relatively recent events than I had realized and that I wasn't going to be able to do anything more to get out of my depression until I resolved them. Not long ago I was confronted by someone who said that she had been told that I had said some very mean and hurtful things about her to other people, I felt terrible and confused but we talked about it for quite a while and I thought that the matter was finished until I realized that I still feel really hurt by the incident. <br /><br />At first I really questioned myself, am I really that bad of a person, am I a gossip and don't realize it? I am really open and chatty, did I say something and not realize that it could have come across very differently than I meant it? I'm sure that the last part is very possibly true, it is easy to mean to say one thing but have it come across very differently. I have really been working on that and thinking more about what I want to say before I say it, I've also been MUCH more careful about who I talk to since there is only one person that could have spread what I said, being that the other person doesn't even live here.<br /><br />I'm not just really upset about the fact that I was the source of hurting someone else, no matter how unintended and misunderstood, I'm also really upset that she believed that I would say those things or that I would do what I did for less than purely good reasons, I mean, I was doing something that helped her out for months and she never, not even when I tried to point it out in our conversation seemed to think; one, that what they were saying was not something I would do, and two, that what she was asking of me was too much to ask EVERY week. I really was happy to do it, don't get me wrong, I just didn't want to do that much every single week and it was getting to be a little more and a little more over time, not less or sporadic.<br /><br />I'm sure that's where I made my first mistake, I was so concerned with making sure that she felt comfortable that I didn't set up perimeters that kept me comfortable as well, next, I shared my frustration with someone that I should have realized I couldn't trust. <br /><br />All of this along with another incident where I asked someone to help me out with something and she went behind my back to take it over completely and then hasn't talked to me since, really had me questioning if I'm really as good of a person as I thought I was. It took a WHOLE LOT, of talking to my sweet husband and several other people who I know will be completely honest with me to even get to where I am now with it. I'm still hurt, I'm still..., I dont even really know how to describe it but I am doing better and I do at least know how I can help avoid this situation in the future so I do have some hope, and that's all I need to keep moving forward and upward out of all of this %^$)*)^%*)!(#$.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-990469324456611422010-03-02T16:56:00.004-05:002013-02-09T14:18:36.037-05:00Finding CenterAfter at least selfless act, the next thing that I start working on is finding my center. I've found that I really need to take the time to do a full self-evaluation, the good and the bad, where I've been, where I am, where I want to go and who I want to be.<br />
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Sometimes you need another person to help you be fair instead of getting stuck in the negative. I tend to think of everything I am unhappy about first and then the things that I like, as I think about the things I like I find myself scratching out things on my negative list because I realize that they aren't really so bad or that the positive things outweigh the negative or at least cancel them out. One of the things I've had to at least move on my negative list is that my DH doesn't do the things he says he will and then uses a really lame excuse for it. I didn't even have to get to my positive list because when I was thinking about things that I don't like about myself I realized that I do the same thing to him and if he can be patient with me and not blow up about it, I can certainly do the same for him.<br />
I'm learning that finding my center with kids around is really difficult, pretty much impossible, so I have to find ways of getting time to myself to work on it. I'm surprised at how much thinking I'm able to do while I'm cleaning the house or nursing my DD. I have to admit that I've definitely resorted to putting on a movie and sequestering my kids to their room to get a little bit of quiet time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-47142702330106136772010-02-19T11:58:00.000-05:002013-02-09T14:14:13.049-05:00The Roller CoasterSometimes I feel like I'm on a roller coaster, yes I know that's a symptom of Bi-polar, not the roller coaster of extreme highs and lows but of my patience with life in general. My kids get to deal with it the most of course, like yesterday, I had tons of patience for most of the day and then DS got into something of mine, that I had repeatedly told him to stay out of and had put out of the way, when I saw him with it and the lengths he'd gone to get to it I was just so mad that I grabbed him and put him in his room until I could cool off enough to not beat his butt, hurting my foot along the way. <br />
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I don't like it when I lose my temper, I know that it happens to everybody and that it doesn't mean I'm a terrible mom or wife but I hate that they are always the ones that get the short end of the stick when I'm less than 100%. I know that I need to make more time for real self care, not just watching a show I like, like actually getting my hair done or going out with my DH or a girlfriend, even taking the time to write this is a form of self care for me. Who doesn't feel better when they've poured their feelings out, whether on "paper" or to a good friend.<br />
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My patience has been rather low these last few days and as much as I like being the one with all the answers, as if you hadn't noticed already, I just want a break from having to be patient. I want a break from constant asking and needing and pulling and climbing and I really want to feel like I've accomplished something more than my usual day to day stuff, something that reminds me that I'm more than a butt wiper, food cooker, laundry cleaner, hurt kisser, kid carrier, husband handler, and general family fixer upper.<br />
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The question is "What?"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-74947507667164244992010-02-19T10:16:00.001-05:002013-02-09T14:15:12.184-05:00My First StepI know it sounds cliche' but for me the first step is to recognize that you are depressed and want to do something about it, the worst form of depression that I've ever dealt with is one of apathy, I just find it extremely hard to care about anything. The first time I realized that I was depressed this way was after many conversations with my roommate at the time where she kept saying that she thought I was really depressed and I thought she was nuts. I slowly started to realize that everything she was saying was true, I had lost interest in almost anything that I usually found so much joy in and could sleep a lot more than usual I just didn't have the deep sadness that I had always noticed before.<br />
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Once I realized that I really was depressed and not just tired I finally wanted to do something about it, like get up and not just from my bed to the couch.<br />
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What are the signs that you need to keep an eye out for? Here is a list of classic signs:<br />
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-Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.<br />
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-Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.<br />
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-Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.<br />
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-Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).<br />
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-Irritability or restlessness. Feeling agitated, restless, or on edge. Your tolerance level is low; everything and everyone gets on your nerves.<br />
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-Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.<br />
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-Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.<br />
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-Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.<br />
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-Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.<br />
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If these sound like you then get help and move on to step 2Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7806052038661787585.post-35132685030523298362010-02-17T11:48:00.002-05:002010-03-11T10:42:18.476-05:00The Gift of DepressionI know what you’re thinking, depression is generally considered a disease not a gift but I’m here to tell you that a gift is exactly what I have found depression can be if you choose to look at it that way and that no matter how bad your depression is you can use these steps to help it be that way for you too. (This doesn't mean you can go off your medication.)<br /><br />My whole life I’ve dealt with depression, mostly my own but others as well since mental illness runs very strongly on one side of my family. As a kid I thought I was the only one who felt so down all the time, I had no idea what depression was or that it was even possible for young kids to have it and with all the hormones of puberty it got a lot worse, I contemplated suicide and struggled at school, my undiagnosed ADD wasn't helping either. One day I was talking to my mom and I opened up to her about how I felt like I had this black hole inside me making everything that should be good seem so "ugh", and that's when my mom told me about how she had struggled with depression when she was younger and how she learned to look at it as a chance to break down all her thoughts and feelings about herself and her life and then build herself back up again even better and stronger than before. All of a sudden not only was I not alone anymore but I had something to hold on to that gave me hope and helped me dig my way out of the hole and start filling it up with tools that would help me get back up whenever I fell. I knew that to build muscle you actually have to damage your muscles and challenge them and that to build a strong immune system you have to get sick, could it really be that my emotions worked the same way? Well, I'm here to tell you that for me at least that's exactly how it works and now I'm a completely different person than that 13 year old girl that confided in her mom all those years ago and much happier, in fact I'd say my life is pretty terrific.<br /><br />I'm not saying that it was or is always easy and I'm no expert but I do know that these steps and tools helped me to turn what had always been so painful into something that, although I'll never exactly look forward to it, can help me be a better, more loving person. I'd like to use this blog to share with you the things I've learned and at the very least give you hope that there is a road through depression that can lead to a wonderful and fulfilling life.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06314616097677098470noreply@blogger.com0